PREMARITAL COUNSELING
Some Good Reasons for Marriage:
- We love one another and want to make a home together
- I want to share my dreams and my future with him/her. I want to build a future that includes him/her in it
- We have so much in common and to share life together
- We seem more complete when we are together, we seem made for each other - there seems to be a fit that is hard to explain
Some Bad Reasons for Getting Married:
- I'm Pregnant — While it is important that the child have two loving parents, case history would show that here is high risk where this is the only reason for getting married
(the old fashioned do the right thing)- it is in fact the wrong thing. One or both parents will often feel robbed of what could have been a better future and feel trapped into a relationship
that was forced upon them.
- I Don't Want to be Alone Anymore — Loneliness is often a state of mind and a lack of creativity. And yes, while there is much out there that is fun to do as a couple and too many nights
in front of the TV is not healthy, it is wrong to latch on to someone merely to cease being alone. A person must be sure of their motives if they desire a relationship that is more then just
a "flash in the pan". Ask yourself: Is this really who I want to be with for the rest of my life? Is this who I want to father/mother my children? It is important to look beneath the surface
and examine your motives as well as the personality of your future spouse. Do you share common morals and ethics? Do you share common goals? Do you share common views on children?
- We are Physically Attracted to Each Other — This is the least immature and shakiest of reasons for marriage. It is basically done to allow or sanction sex (lust or runaway hormones) and thus
appease a guilty conscience. While sex is an important and rewarding part of marriage, it should not be the focus and one certainly cannot base a life time relationship around it.
